Half Unread

I have been lying here for so long. And I wasn’t supposed to be this way. I seldom went out for trips on places I had never been to. But everything changed after then.

My relatives are often not around, gone for a week or more. When they come back, they tell me stories of their adventures. I was jealous, I am jealous. I wasn’t supposed to be like this.

I know my place’s history all too well. I know people, too. I have every single detail of the past. People back then read me a lot. They were happy. They were curious as if they needed to read me more. But now I’m stuck in here together with my old relatives, some of them worn out of pages. I don’t want to end up that way. I want to go out more often.

From the creation of time to contemporary period, I know it all too well. I am a witness of history as it repeats itself all over again. I have here theories on how my place came to be. I also know faces of people million years ago, and I tell you, they have changed a lot. You can also see in me that Lapu-Lapu they were talking about. Ah! I remembered. He was their first hero who killed that Spaniard who tried to colonize their place. I forgot on what page was that written. You can just scan through me, if you don’t mind?

People celebrate on certain days, and I know why. I know better what they have been through and they tend to ignore it. I am often being left alone. My relatives like Fiction, Science and more of them go out a lot of times. How I wished I was like them, but I am not. People dub me as “boring”. I don’t even know why. Isn’t it nice to read me and be amazed on how you people passed through such events? How odd it really is.

Am I boring because I repeat myself many times? Oh, dear, please reconsider. It is of my natural sense. I repeat myself. Shouldn’t you be grateful for such things you are about to read inside of me? I tell you, you should. It is your story, after all.

Can I confess? I am deeply amazed on how you people passed through such accomplishments written inside me. Your race consists of wise men with wise deeds. I remembered one of your martyrs named Jose Rizal who fought for your freedom. Well, many of your ancestors also fought for it. Shouldn’t you be proud? How odd it really is.

I repeat, it is your story. You should take time reading it, me. I tell you, you will be amazed just as how I felt having inside of me your story. I am not forcing you as what I did to people who took me out. Some of them were just passing by looking for random things and luckily picked me. It hurts me when they just scan the pages uninterestingly for minutes and put me back to my place. I am a book, half unread. You wouldn’t do the same, would you?

Well, I guess I will just stay in here – waiting for someone who will take me out to places I’ve never been to.

Labinlimang Klase ng Tao Sa Loob ng Jeepney

Nag-aabang ka ng sasakyan sa gilid ng highway. Yung tipong sinisinghot mo na lahat ng usok na ibinubuga ng mga walang hiyang jeepney na humaharurot at nagbabasakaling maabutan ang nagdudugong “stop” ng traffic light – nakakainis, nakakabuwisit, at nakakadagdag ng tigyawat sa mukha. Pero teka, diba jeepney rin ang hinihintay mo? Antanga lang? (Wag mong dibdibin ha, sinadya ko talaga yun).

At lumipas ang walang hanggan at dumating na rin ang pinakahihintay mong jeepney (magsitayo ang lahat para sa standing ovation). Ngunit hindi doon nagtatapos ang mala-Lord of the Rings na kalbaryo mo. Hindi ka nag-iisa. Nandyan ang mga swapang na inalisan na ng trabaho si Flash sa sobrang pagmamadali. Late na raw sila. Pa’no ka na ngayon? Gamitin ang utak at konting tulak. Sa ganitong mga eksena, dapat maging basketball player ka: [a] gamitin ang katawan bilang pangharang, screen ang tawag dun; [b] maging pisikal ka, imudmod mo sa kanila yang siko mong pinahiran ng expired lotion nung paalis ka sa inyo; [c] maging buwaya ka (nasa sa’yo na yan kung iko-cosplay mo o hindi).

At sa kasawiang pawis, nakasakay ka rin sa wakas. Ngunit para kang nasa isang can ng sardinas. Siksikan sa loob at naaamoy mo ang lahat ng uri ng amoy na maaaring amuyin ng nang-aamoy mong ilong. Napakasaklap na kapalaran. At humarurot na ulit si manong na tila may date na hinahabol – sa CR. Hindi mo alam kung matutuwa ka’t madali kang makakarating sa pupuntahan mo o hindi ka na makakaabot doon dahil malamang patay ka na sa sobrang bilis ng sinasakyan mong jeepney. Enjoy the ride, ika nga, yan na lang gawin mo.

Oh sya, sapat na bang pang-intro yan at magsisimula na ako sa ipinunta ko rito sa harap ng monitor na halatang kulang pa sa tulog at kain? Bakit ka tumawa? Nagdidiliryo ka na yata. Oh sige, sisimulan ko na.

Ang susunod na programa ay may tema at eksenang hindi angkop sa mga taong mahihina ang puso. Patnubay ng doktor ang kailangan.

Hindi ka Pinoy kung hindi ka pa nakakasakay ng jeepney (jeep, jip, dyip). Maliban sa mga maharlika na naka-high heels sabay kabit sa gilid ng shoulder bag, wala na yata (at kung meron man, paki ko?) Seriously, anong paki ko nga? Oh eto naman, wag kang magdamdam dyan, sinadya ko talaga ulit yun. Maraming kwento na maaari kong maisulat tungkol sa mga karanasan ko sa loob ng nasabing sasakyan – isa na ito sa mga iyon. At marami ring mga tao na maaari kong maisulat – isa na rin ito sa mga iyon, at may labinlima akong naipon dito:

15. Ang Mga Dakilang Tanga – Sila ang mga tipong biniyayaan ng mga tenga upang makarinig ngunit hindi man lang maiabot ang pambayad ni manang na tila ihahampas na sa kanilang mga pagmumukha ang bente pesos na hawak nito. Mayroong tatlong dahilan kung bakit ganyan sila umasta eh hindi naman mga siga: [a] malamang naka-earphones, max volume at Slipknot songs ang pinapakinggan; [b] naka-earphones pa rin, ngunit hindi naman naka-plug sa iPod o cellphone nila, yung tipong “wala lang, trip ko lang isabit sa tenga ko”. Sila itong mga wala sa tamang pag-iisip, tanga ika nga; [c] totoong bingi.

14. The Eyecatchers – ang mga pinagtitripan ng mga stambay sa may kanto habang naglalakad. Ngunit ang kaibahan, nakasakay na sa jeep. May dalang pamaypay pansosyal (malamang bente pesos rin lang ang bili nila). Maiksi ang shorts, makinis ang legs (eh di sana naging legs nalang sila) at pinagpapawisan. Sila ang mga tipong nakakahulog ng mga mata kapag tinitigan mo ang mga cleavage nila (eh di sana naging cleavage na rin lang sila).

13. Call Center Agents – ang mga busy kakadaldal sa cellphone hanggang sa ma-snatch ito. Nakakatawa at loudspeaker pa. Sila ang mga breed ng mga tao na maaaring maging live entertainment sa loob ng jeepney (jeep, jip, dyip). Andaming alam, kulang nalang palitan si Kuya Kim sa kakadaldal hanggang sa maubos lahat ng pasahero at maubusan ng gasolina si manong na tila pikon na pikon sa walang hanggang pagbukas ng bibig nila. Oo, may unli call sila.

12. Laking Rejoice – yung expired. Takpan mo na lang ang sarili mong pagmumukha kung sila ang makakatabi mo sa loob. Wagas ang paghambalos ng kanilang mga buhok sa iyong mukha na makakain mo na ito (instant ulam). Kadalasan, hindi nila alam ang ginagawa nilang krimen. Unahan mo na, bumaba ka na lang.

11. Tulo-Laway – ang mga aswang. Antok na antok na hahantong sa puntong nagiging instant unan ang katabi. Kawawang mga nilalang, bakit ba hindi nalang sila mag-day shift? [a] Nahumaling sa Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Skype, Multiply o ang mga forbidden kingdoms. Na-magnet ang puwet sa upuan kagabi sabay tutok sa monitor; [b] naghasik ng kasamaan sa kapitbahay (aswang nga, di ba?); [c] mga totoong call center agents.

10. LaSWAG – high-level jejemons, tanga in the making. Sila itong may mga hawak na cellphone (Cherry Mobile, myPhone, o yung mga nabibili na buy one take one sa E-mall) at career na career ang pagtext (na minsan hindi nakatingin sa screen). May bago na silang fashion statement: Vanz na cap, skinny jeans at varsity jacket. Oo, tirik na tirik ang araw at naka-jacket pa rin sila. Mayroon silang sariling mundo (kaya siguro hindi naiinitan) na kung saan nabibigla ka nalang sa kanilang pagtawa na hindi mo malaman ang dahilan (baka dahil sa katext). Sila ang pangalawa sa nakakalimot magbayad.

9. Ang Mga Kabit – este ang mga kumakapit, unggoy in the making. Sila ang pangatlo sa mga nakakalimot magbayad na malamang dahil: [a] sinasadya talaga nilang gawin iyon at ginagawang rason na kumakapit lang sila kaya walang bayad (walang magagawa si manong doon, kinukuwenta ang mga pwet); [b] nagmamadali sa kanilang mga appointment kaya madalas dramatic ang pagbaba sa jeepney (jeep, jip, dyip) na mala-James Bond, yun nga lang may umepal – balat ng saging; [c] pamangkin ni #11.

8. Naked Eyes - yung feeling na may taong wagas na nakatutok sa'yo habang nakasakay ka sa jeepney (jeep, jip, dyip) na parang nakapatay ka ng limang tao, it's them. At hanggang ngayon hindi pa rin maalis sa kokote ko kung bakit napaka-creepy ng kanilang mga mata. Manong naman, hinay-hinay sa panggugulat minsan ha. Malamang alam nila kung sino ang mga nagbabayad at ang hindi. Sila ang Live CCTV sa loob ng nasabing sasakyan. Hindi na rin ako magtataka kung lalampas man sila sa kanilang pupuntahan - nahiya na ang eyeglasses ko sa kanila.

7. Hairy Potters - ang mga naka-sando. Dahan-dahan nilang isasabit ang kanilang mga murder weapons (braso, exposure ng kili-kiling walang shave ng anim na taon) at kawawa ang katabi (sa amoy, kung hindi nagpahid ng deodorant), ang nasa harapan niya (dahil sa malaswang eksenang kanyang nadatnan sa loob) at ang mga pasaherong nagsisisi na sana nagdala sila ng kahit na anong pamutol ng damo. Sila ang dahilan kung bakit nausong magtakip ang karamihan ng kanilang mga bibig at ilong ng hanky kaya magtaka ka na kung sakaling mangyayari ang karumal-dumal na krimen na ang iyong katabi ay magtatakip ng kanyang ilong at bibig. Alam na yan.

6. Blabbermouths - dalawa o grupo ng mga taong sabay na sumakay sa jeepney (jeep, jip, dyip) at ang tanging pinagkaiba kay #13 ay walang dalang cellphone. Putak nang putak ang kanilang mga bibig na aabot sa puntong na-memorize mo na ang kanilang mga sinasabi. Alam ng lahat ng nasa loob ang kanilang mga pinag-uusapan mula sa nakitang gwapo sa kalye hanggang kay Mickey Mouse. Oo, sa hindi malamang kadahilanan, narating nila ang topic na 'yan.

5. Romeo at Juliet – ang mga pinagdikit ng tadhana, na dahil sa sobrang dikit nila, maaari na silang ma-classify as fraternal conjoined twins. Malupet sila sa romance at love story na manghihinayang ang mga single na nakakasakay nila at magmumurang bakit ang mga pangit lang ang may lovelife. Wala silang pakialam sa mundo, sa katabi, ang nasa harapan, at sa mga musmos na hindi alam kung ganito ba ang nakikita nila sa mga Mexican telenovelas. Punitin mo na ang free movie ticket mong sponsored ng SM, bumili ng popcorn at panoorin ang mumunting pornong ito sa loob ng jeepney (jeep, jip, dyip,).

4. Cashiers – ang mga dakilang konduktor na puhunan ang mala-DJ na mga boses na nagbubulyaw ng “SM! SM!” “Dikit lang po!” “Oh may anim pa!” “Bayad ho sa mga wala pa! Baka nakalimutan niyo lang!” “Oh may bababa!” “May CITOM! Bilis pasok!” “Sukli po nung bente!” “San galing ‘to?!” “Hahaha!” “Ahm!” at iba pa. Minsan hindi nila namamalayan ang mga nagbabayad at ang mga hindi. Magaling sila sa Math, Physics, at Effective Communication. Bakit? Next question, please.

3. Front Sitters – ito ang batch ng mga dominanteng feeling hari at reyna na nakaupo lang naman sa front seat kahit na may sign na nagsasabing “Reserve this seat for disabled passengers”. Kina-classify kaya nila ang kanilang mga sarili na disabled? O di kaya’y trip lang? Next question again, please.

2. Driver Sweat Lover – ang kapitan ng barko! Este ng jeepney pala. Mayroong iba’t – ibang klase ng mga driver pero hindi ko muna ito isusulat dito. Sa kanila nakasalalay ang iyong buhay, allowance, attendance sa class (kung late ka na), at ang namamagang paa nang dahil sa kakalakad.

1. AKO – ang gagong nagsulat sa walang kabuluhang bagay na’to. Lagi kong inoobersabahan ang mga iba’t-ibang klase ng tao sa loob ng jeepney ngunit wag ninyo akong isali sa mga stereotype sapagkat hindi ko kinikilala ang mga tao ayon sa mga klasipikasyon. Oo, may pagkakaiba tayo pagdating sa ugali at pamamaraan ng pamumuhay. Subalit sa pagkakaibang yan, naniniwala akong pantay tayo at hindi dapat nakikilala ayon sa estado ng buhay na kung saan binibilang kung magkano ang nasa bulsa. Pinapakita ng gagong ito ang tipikal na Pilipino – na kahit toyo at kanin nalang ang kinakain sa araw-araw, nagagawa pang ngumiti, katulad mo ngayon. Hindi naniniwala ang gagong ito sa mga salitang mayaman at mahirap – pantay lahat, lalong-lalo na sa loob ng jeepney.

All Hail Anime! (-_-)/

Howdy yow?

Well, here's a little scoop of my anime side, as requested by many readers from facebook. But this is not live streaming or some sort of "watch-anime-online" stuff. This serves as a preview of various animes in different genres. And here's the list:

Action

(the action/fighting is the dominant element)

Darker than Black

Bleach

Canaan

Claymore

Kurokami

Adventure

(lots of traveling around, going to new places)

Spice and Wolf

Pokemon

Kemono no Souja Erin

Tegami Bachi

Comedy

(lots of laughs, or attempts at it anyway, and never gets too serious)

Seto no Hanayome

Love Hina

Baka to Test to Shoukanjuu

Ranma 1/2

Nyan Koi!

Drama

(lots of shocks, suspense, and emotions)

Clannad

Fullmetal Alchemist

Rainbow

Aoi Bungaku

Toradora!

Romance

(romantic relationships are the dominant element)

5 Centimeters per Second

Romeo x Juliet

Nana

Chobits

Revolutionary Girl Utena

Shonen

(all of these also include Action and/or Adventure, target audience of adolescent boys)

Naruto

One Piece

Yu Yu Hakusho

Dragon Ball Z

Shaman King

Shojo

(all of these also include Romance and/or Drama, target audience of adolescent girls)

Cardcaptor Sakura

Kobato

Fruits Basket

Fushigi Yuugi

Itazurana Kiss

Mecha

(giant anthropomorphic robots are integral to the plot)

Gundam Seed

Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann

Eureka 7

Evangelion

Escaflowne

Sci-fi

(advanced technology, aliens and/or outer space, futuristic worlds)

Digimon

Eden of the East

To Aru Kagaku no Railgun

Summer Wars

Tenchi Muyo!

Fantasy

(magic worlds, monsters, magical powers)

Record of Lodoss War

Shakugan no Shana

Slayers

Sailor Moon

Supernatural

(ghosts and poltergeist, demons, spirits and gods)

Bakemonogatari

Mushishi

Kannagi

Kara no Kyoukai

Inuyasha

Mystery

(characters spend the majority of the series trying to solve one or more mysteries or other “unknowns”)

Noir

Sola

Durarara!!

Death Note

Horror

(lots of gore, blood baths, and nightmarish stuff)

Dance in the Vampire Bund

Elfen Lied

Higurashi no Naku Koro ni

Shikabane Hime

Slice-of-Life

(lack of all the other genres except for perhaps Comedy and Romance)

Azumanga Daioh

Chi’s Sweet Home

Ichigo Mashimaro

K-ON!

Parody

(almost always a Comedy too, much of the humor is derived from gags and parody)

Excel Saga

Hayate no Gotoku!

Hetalia

Lucky Star

Sports/Tournament
(the main plot involves the characters competing in games and tournaments)

Angelic Layer

Prince of Tennis

Yu-Gi-Oh!

Hikaru no Go

Yes, I know what you are thinking, kinda long, huh? You are just tasting a bit of it, pal. What are you waiting for? Want to make your life a little bit colorful rather than lurking yourself in that dark room? I'm telling you, watch these animes. Your life will be on the right track :)

A Conversation with the World's Smartest Man

"Don't give up on your dreams, keep on sleeping." - Albert Einstein

An Atheist Professor of Philosophy was speaking to his Class on the problem Science has

with GOD, the ALMIGHTY. He asked one of his New Christian Students to stand and...

Professor : You are a Christian, aren't you, son ?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, you Believe in GOD ?

Student : Absolutely, sir.

Professor: Is GOD Good ?

Student : Sure.

Professor: Is GOD ALL - POWERFUL ?

Student : Yes.

Professor: My Brother died of Cancer even though he Prayed to GOD to Heal him.

Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill.

But GOD didn't. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

(Student was silent )

Professor: You can't answer, can you ? Let's start again, Young Fella.

Is GOD Good?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Is Satan good ?

Student : No.

Professor: Where does Satan come from ?

Student : From . . . GOD . . .

Professor: That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this World?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn't it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?

Student : Yes.

Professor: So who created evil ?

(Student did not answer)

Professor: Is there Sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness?

All these terrible things exist in the World, don't they?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, who Created them ?

(Student had no answer)

Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to Identify and Observe the World around you.

Tell me, son . . . Have you ever Seen GOD?

Student : No, sir.

Professor: Tell us if you have ever Heard your GOD?

Student : No , sir.

Professor: Have you ever Felt your GOD, Tasted your GOD, Smelt your GOD?

Have you ever had any Sensory Perception of GOD for that matter?

Student : No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.

Professor: Yet you still Believe in HIM?

Student : Yes.

Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol,

Science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student : Nothing. I only have my Faith.

Professor: Yes,Faith. And that is the Problem Science has.

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as Heat?

Professor: Yes.

Student : And is there such a thing as Cold?

Professor: Yes.

Student : No, sir. There isn't.

(The Lecture Theatre became very quiet with this turn of events )

Student : Sir, you can have Lots of Heat, even More Heat, Superheat, Mega Heat, White Heat,

a Little Heat or No Heat.

But we don't have anything called Cold.

We can hit 458 Degrees below Zero which is No Heat, but we can't go any further after that.

There is no such thing as Cold.

Cold is only a Word we use to describe the Absence of Heat.

We cannot Measure Cold.

Heat is Energy.

Cold is Not the Opposite of Heat, sir, just the Absence of it.

(There was Pin-Drop Silence in the Lecture Theatre )

Student : What about Darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as Darkness?

Professor: Yes. What is Night if there isn't Darkness?

Student : You're wrong again, sir.

Darkness is the Absence of Something

You can have Low Light, Normal Light, Bright Light, Flashing Light . . .

But if you have No Light constantly, you have nothing and its called Darkness, isn't it?

In reality, Darkness isn't.

If it is, were you would be able to make Darkness Darker, wouldn't you?

Professor: So what is the point you are making, Young Man ?

Student : Sir, my point is your Philosophical Premise is flawed.

Professor: Flawed ? Can you explain how?

Student : Sir, you are working on the Premise of Duality.

You argue there is Life and then there is Death, a Good GOD and a Bad GOD.

You are viewing the Concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure.

Sir, Science can't even explain a Thought.

It uses Electricity and Magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one.

To view Death as the Opposite of Life is to be ignorant of the fact that

Death cannot exist as a Substantive Thing.

Death is Not the Opposite of Life: just the Absence of it.

Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your Students that they evolved from a Monkey?

Professor: If you are referring to the Natural Evolutionary Process, yes, of course, I do.

Student : Have you ever observed Evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shook his head with a Smile, beginning to realize where the Argument was going )

Student : Since no one has ever observed the Process of Evolution at work and

Cannot even prove that this Process is an On-Going Endeavor,

Are you not teaching your Opinion, sir?

Are you not a Scientist but a Preacher?

(The Class was in Uproar )

Student : Is there anyone in the Class who has ever seen the Professor's Brain?

(The Class broke out into Laughter )

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's Brain, Felt it, touched or Smelt it? . . .

No one appears to have done so.

So, according to the Established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol,

Science says that You have No Brain, sir.

With all due respect, sir, how do we then Trust your Lectures, sir?

(The Room was Silent. The Professor stared at the Student, his face unfathomable)

Professor: I guess you'll have to take them on Faith, son.

Student : That is it sir . . . Exactly !

The Link between Man & GOD is FAITH.

That is all that Keeps Things Alive and Moving.

and the man was Albert Einstein.